Something from my writing journals: Timed Fiction-

"This is what the Neighbors Saw"

 

 

Jorge never liked his body, but it was something he had made peace with, regardless. He had poked and prodded it along through his younger years, using it to great effect when his hormones and time schedules matched more securely and he did not have to think about those things very frequently. He had taken the time to avoid fried foods, the gift of his heritage, whenever he could; having a gym in walking distance to his condo was motivation enough to ride the bicycle, even on the cloudiest of days.

Because of the time he afforded it, he was allowed, nightly, to stay in bed when others his age found their bladders swollen enough that hourly urination gave little satisfaction. He could just lie there. The abuses he felled upon his own prostate in his youth he figured he could count on to haunt him; however, the ongoing gym membership afforded him a good night's sleep. Never once did he find himself getting up before a decent six hours of slumber were conquered. And even that was an issue of size, not age or health of various organs.

It was a Saturday morning when those six hours had stretched to a good ten. He treated himself the Friday night prior to finishing a paperback. The week was far from decent, lunch hours were kept in the company of unruly teens, instead of his green tea and reading. So as the end of the week surfaced, he found the time to polish off his leisure reading on the couch and sleeping late. The coffeemaker had done its job; the carafe was still piping hot when he awoke and shambled into this kitchen.

The condo was the last on his lot, a beauty in that it afforded him a decent view of their courtyard before the pool. An open expanse of bright green blades of lawn and swingset. Normally, he would have afforded a robe at this hour. But the Florida sun was in repose this winter, the pool across the way, empty. His boxer-briefs hung at a sad, low angle, but he was not one to care before coffee.

He did not even jolt when the drivable lawn mower came into view. They were traditionally there every Saturday morning, and they never seemed the wiser. Jorge got a thrill out of their presence, since they seemingly were all 18-19 and in the fittest of shape he once hoped for. They creatively removed large swatches of clothing every week, from an exposed midriff or a shorn sleeve, showing their latest tattoo or keeping their strong tanline.

Today's show involved a red-headed lad who wore very, very large headphones. Jorge guess the form of the things kept the sweat away from his temples, but would suffer from horrid smells in the truck ride home. But it wasn't his problem.

The youth was too new to the job. He didn't know the rules of the retirement community. You were not allowed to take off your shirt.

He wasn't going to complain, however. At least not before coffee.

Jorge scratched himself, unthinking, and maneuvered to see better.

(Unfinished, timed out)

Dear God, save us from your followers.

I mean…really?

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A Quiet Return

Memories Of Sept. 11's First Recorded Casualty Endure : NPRI stumbled across this little story just as I had a hankerin’ to type and compose.

Memories Of Sept. 11's First Recorded Casualty Endure : NPR

It has been too long of a time to edit and add to a blog. I think of it like one who forgets to call a sister who lives just a few hours away. You know they’ll always be there—you’ll get around to contacting them some day. However, well, days end up as weeks and soon, well, time marches on.

I don’t want that to happen to these blogs. I love writing. These blogs don’t deserve it.

And better, there’s an app for that.

It activated itself, I guess. Just showed up on my Explorer window after downloading Word 2010. Say what you will about Windows, but, aw, fuck, their word processing tool (yeah, I said word processor, fuckwads, it IS an old term and I’m an OLD grizzly) is the ursine’s wordsmithing delight.

And here we are.

This isn’t as scandalous as some other posts. Nor should it be. A kinda melancholy has hit the nation. Everyone seems to be in a lather-just ask any GOP and Tea Party member, you can find them sitting in the corner doing nothing—these days, yet as NineEleven approaches this weekend, the hiberNation seems to be giving out a collective sigh.

I suppose I could recollect where I was and what it means for this young country, but seriously, I’m not that skilled of an author. In fact, I was probably going to say nothing until this little nexus of commonalities (gay, NineEleven, and this Live Writer) occurred.

See, folks, I once thought about coming a minister.

What? A furry beauty like yourself, you ask? That collar would choked your double chin out and no one would have noticed!

When Desert Storm broke out and all the Boomers when ballistic, my Ma went crazy if there might be a draft. She was afraid I’d end up in the front infantry and showing with strange men.

No, she didn’t realize I was already doing one of those things.

But I am not the kind of man who carries a gun. I know I could be a chaplain. Not because I was any closer to God or anything. I was not a good Christian by any mean: I had no concept of how to oppress or twist others’ words so I could get a tax break. I did know about spirit, however, and comfort.

I would have done what this guy did. I have no doubt. I’m the man who plans on dying, trying. Bears are like that.

And I’ve neglected to mention something about this man.

He was gay. In a world where both priests and gays are targets for unresolved anguish, this is a double-whammy of good. Read the article. Watch the movie—here’s the trailer:

Have a peaceful Patriot Day everyone. My heart goes out to this enduring hiberNation.




Peace.

What, exactly, is an activist judge?

I have a friend, a decent one at that, that is really into religion. Totally. He sometimes surprises me when his mouth opens. Now, I know it probably shocks you, dear reader, that I have massively conservative friends. I do believe that there is something about practicing what you preach. I preach that all people are equal. And if the GOP and their cronies don't see it that way, well, to each their own. Change comes from within. I even went to a Christian (Lutheran, to be sure, which is two steps shy of being Cahthlic) college, where I made these friends, so I wasn't too far from them, I suppose. It shouldn't be a total shock that my friends and I have differing views.. But the fact is, I see them as my equals. I would never put them down for their views. I will argue their views, but not them.

For example....(understand this is from a conservative newspaper, so it's an evil read)

Strangely, however, my friends actually support gay marriage, even the conservative ones. Never really sure how that worked. However, I find it is best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
But when my buddy opened his mouth this one time, about Prop 8 in California, he stated, simply, "what about activist judges?" I questioned his line of thinking and he felt that, even though he was in support of gay marriage, a state has the right to vote on things and, in the end, people decided what they want as a culture. And no judge can press their own agenda until the unwilling masses. And if they were, they were being an “activitist.”

Facinating.
 
I didn't argue with him.

Until now. I wanted to do a bit of research. Can a judge put their will on the people, like so many politicos have tried? I wanted to be educated.

First off, the judge in questions shot down Prop 8 as unconstitutional. He said, like Amendent 2 in Colorado, that no person can be denied rights of others by merely being gay or lesbian. Prop 8 should not have been put before the voters since it basically removes a right granted and pressed forward by the state's Supreme Court. I'm not going to elaborate on the details, as a reader, I'll go ahead and guess you're familiar with the details. If not?

Here:
It came to light, however, afterwards that the judge who tore down Prop 8 was gay himself. And this was where my friend was coming from. However, my research made me come across some things to prove to my buddy-

*) Depending on the jurisdiction, some judges are voted into offices, some are placed by mayors, governors and, in the case of the SCOTUS, the President. Several counties can elect their judges, making sure they represent the area that they are working within. Makes sense. That way, you are (supposedly) linked inherently to the community you work for. That isn't always the case. In order to run for the office, you need cash, so judges tend to be upper-middle-class (or higher) so they have the money needed to be elected. As such, they tend to be outside of the situations they are presiding over. Do you think a judge would ever understand what it means to steal to feed their family? Doubtful. The reason I wanted to find this out was see if my friend was right. Were judges just radicals waving their own private flag? Since they are assigned in most cases--no. They do not link to a party affilate. However, their voting history will belie any polictical leanings. However, that would be documented.

Interesting.

*) So I moved on to the actual job of being a judge. Their job, and several viewings of Judge Judy confirmed this, is to interpret the law. Period. They have to justify their choices in sentencing for appeal purposes. Their goal is to make sure all laws are being followed. Like a Christian defending their actions by using the Bible, judges' purposes are to make sure that they interpret the previously written words as being followed. One word can mean many things. The word schmuck has hundreds of connotations, and they aren't always positive. The judge needs to see all of those options and find out in what manner the terminology was chosen and for what reason.

Interesting.

*) Activitism means to make choices in support. For many, the reason the cause exists is because some feels they are being marginalized. An animal activist might see that animals aren't being fairly treated in the eyes of the law; a medical marjuiana activist would activitely seek that laws are changed to benefit their lifestyle.
Interesting.

*) So is this judge an "activist judge?" 

No. A judges' decision must be based on evidence presented (remember,there's no jury here) and the purpose of the laws that went before it. THe evidence is selected by the lawyers, no tthe judge. This is not always right, per se, but it is the way it is supposed to work. To blame a judge for voting in a manner that goes against your beliefs is like sueing your neighbor because it is raining. The two options are very separate. This judge had the capacity and honor to excuse himself from the case, but he felt, regardless of his sexuality, he could hack it. He took time before making his decision--proving it was not taken lightly.
He did not push his agenda. His reach is too short for that. He merely said this law is unjust, for it removes individuals who committed no crime (the only way you are removed from participating from the law fully) from participating in the legal process-in this case, marriage. Everyone should be equal under the law. Here is a group that isn't.

So now, I'm ready. Activism is not part of a judge's repetoire. I look to the next case to point out my concept a bit more clearer.

 Now Vaughn Walker is himself coming under fire.I’ve not found evidence myself if he was conservative or libareal in his voting records, so I could be off base here. However , many supportors of Prop 8 are saying that he was bias due to the fact he would benefit by the overturn of Prop 8, since he is gay. Whoa. Okay, I thought those who supported Prop 8 were saying that Domestic Partnerships were enough and there was zero gain by making marriage legal. Okay, so since Prop 8 passed--everything would be fine, and gays would stand nothing to gain since they already had domestic partnerships. Their very own statements are confusing me. SO gays WOULD benefit if they got married? That means they are missing out!

I so need the federal govenment to get involved!

DADT is repealed!

As you can tell, I’ve been a bit out of the loop. Queers the nation over were prosecuted, repeatedly, for just being themselves, and I got tired of the negativity I was trying to escape by moving away from Colorado.


You can’t seem to escape the bad news.

But then something happened. Here's the news item...

DADT was actually lifted. LIFTED. I won’t go into trying to explain the details of the situation. I never could understand the specifics of voting with congress. However, they did something. They actually got rid of that stupid blasted rule in the military. Now, I’ve decided to emphasize my positive vibes that come flying off of this decision.

Look, everyone...we're signing something!

I will admit my hesistantion about celebrating. For so long, they’ve just tried to pay us lip service so we’d vote for them and then they didn’t do squat for us, the queer-bear public. So here’s my goodies and why I’m so chipper, even now, several weeks after the fact:

*) Wow. CONGRESS DID SOMETHING. Everyone argues in politics. That’s a gimmie. And they argue so much that they don’t go anywhere…and then they go on vacation. Problems still exist, but they just pass it on. Or they pick on easy topics that everyone wants to improve. Pollution. Education. Straight teeth. And then make big statements. Then break for the weekend.

Here? They did something, or, at last, appeared to. It was born from the fact that polls showed that queers were voting for the GOP. Yes, even queers are tired of hearing the same shit. They would vote for the nazi party if it meant something would squiggle and we’d be heard a bit more. Anything is better than nothing.

And it finally worked.

*) McCain was shown as the dickless leader he would have been if he was actually elected into the White House. I mean really. It’s fun to make fun of each party during election time. Republicans, enslaved to the wealthy and Church/Dems try to appease so many little people they appear wishy washy. And McCain kept screaming about how whishywashy Obama would be. Bush used it to great effect on Kerry.

And the public bought it.

But here’s the thing…McCain stated to the public that if survey of the military stated that there would be no problem-he’d support removing the ban.

The survey said…no issues.

So he decided to filibuster. Guess who’s wishy-washy now, wafflehead? Even his own wife is a gay-rights supporter and his daughter. What a fucknut. Imagine the hatred he would have espoused if he were the Pres?

Here's a link just showing how warm and fuzzy he is about the whole thing. And he was almost our pres? I'd end up in a gulag, if he had his way...

*) The military is considered a federal position. So, Young Johnny from Des Moines marries his boyfriend before flying out to Iraq.

How are they going to handle the taxes? The Supreme Court might have to chime in. But now marriages are moved up on the list. Even Joe Biden, the freegin VP, has acknowledged it’s only a matter of time.

Joe, I think you're kinda cute too.  And your wife, a teacher like me, DESERVES to be the First Lady. And thanks for saying what I’m thinking.

*) When African Americans were integrated into the military, the same exact arguments were given. It would affect group cohesion. How would they handle the showers? And the same forks? And what if a person’s religion didn’t let them get close to another African American? However, this simple little situation was a step in the right direction for the nation in the throes of the Civil Rights movement. Now, during these Stonewall Days, we’re here again. The fact is the SYMBOLISM is powerful. With kids killing themselves because they’re queer—this couldn’t have come at a better time. It gives the illusion, an important illusion, that the government is aware of this group of individuals and wants to care. They may not understand, but they are trying.

Recently, whilst listening to XM radio, I heard, for the umpteenth time, a Christmaskkah ditty on the Holly station. It was a Dean Martin tune from the fifties, filled with innuendo about “Oh Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Here’s the catch. It was song from one gay boy to another on a public radio station. Teens who love to roll their eyes at everything little thing would be listening.

And for a gay boy who thought he’d never get crooned to—well, there’s that little hope.

Same with this vote. Kids? We do care. Someone cares. It’s why I live out and proud. And this vote is another moment to see that.

*) The Southern Law Poverty Center went ahead and labeled several Religious Right Organizations like the Family Research Council as hate groups. Finally!Fucking finally. The fact is, on news programs, everyone would step up to the mic and say, “I hate gay marriage!” and then follow up with nothing else. There is no argument in defense of opposite sex marriage. The only operative word was ‘hate.’ And since there was no legit argument to ban same sex marriage, these organizations were born to give church organizations a place to collect more money from their constituents. Children are starving and this is what the churches would argue over. Nothing more. So it was nice to see a STRAIGHT and LEGAL group call a spade a spade. These ‘Christian Groups’ do nothing Christian other then make themselves look really, really bad.

I know hear that several Christain groups are thinking about no attending the upcoming CPAC meeting. I think this is very telling. Apparently, after the most recent election in November, polls illustrated that many, many gays and lesbians, not satisifed with the way the liberals, dems and social open minded ones WEREN'T DOING SQUAT--went and voted with the GOP.
 
HA!
 
That's why DADT was repealed. The message was clear to the Dems party. You've taken us for granted as a promised vote and then gave us lip service. Nothing was done for us.
 
Yes, I'm growling.
 
When word about taht was reported--the Dems suddenly had to do SOMETHING.
 
They repealed the stupid thing.
 
Now, here comes CPAC, the planning meeting that all the conservatives go and decide who'll they'll take money from. But it seems some GOP members actually do read newspapers and media. They heard that the gay voting contingent actually voted for them--but have no representation at their meetings. One group, GOProud has asked to attend so that the GOP can meet some gays and lesbians and start a dialogue. But the churches, those large money making machines for the GOP have said--if the queers come, we won't.
 
Now the GOP has to do something.
 
I'll be interested to see what happens.

More Growling

Okay, so I heard that the Liberace Museum is closing. I’m sorry, but too bad. I went once, right after I came out of the closet. We were all twittered at how gaudy everything was and how little information was offered about his true nature. He survived, to be sure, during the those days when my people were put down for their mere existence. But times are different now. As I walked through and saw the Rolls Royce, I remember thinking, “aw, that poor guy. He was screaming for true attention-but he could never get it for being himself!”

Inside him was a drag queen, screaming to get out!

I also understood that he had to be closeted and since I had just accepted who I was, I could respect it. But now?

Fuck it.

I mean seriously. He was gay. The writing is on the wall. There’s no way to avoid it. But yet they still probably say nothing throughout the museum. Not a single word.

So the place is closing. Do you go to a Nestle museum and not mention chocolate? Not even in passing? I have little sympathy.

Doesn't really have much to do about anything, does it? But, whoaboy....

DADT was voted unconstitutional.  This is excellent news. But my real question is..now what? The senate has to vote on it? If I had more power, I’d have an uprising, seriously. Something like Ghandi or MLK. We can’t just stand here any more people. See? The courts are in our favor. But it will take forever for them to do anything. They (as in the powers-that-be) have zero vested interest unless we can give them something. They want votes. We can do that, that’s been proven. But why stop? Why not give them hell? Why not have more kiss ins at public restaurants or go get marriage licenses in states that won’t see us? Think of it! One hundred queers clogging the system. They’d notice us, finally.


But it’s not going to happen. So awesome this vote is…but I’ll believe it more when I see the first lesbian general. That’s a bitch who’ll take charge and blow up shit. She’ll hold water better in the desert!

Cool! A stereotype!

Gay adoption in Aussiland???Britain has created that great little nation and ours. Yet we’re more behind then the stone ages. Even Muslim nations had more science in the dark ages-and they were a total right wing state. But us? Even here in Florida, husOtter and I can’t have kids. Sure, it was voted down, but what does that mean? It means our possible dreams will have to be at the mercy of others-of people we don’t know.


But Australia is moving ahead? I guess a country that has Hugh Jackman playing an action hero and belting out Peter Allen tunes is proof that, damn, our country is behind the times.

Just some observations....

I’ve moved to Florida, if you’ve not noticed lately. I’ve not written due to the fact that any leftover energy has been used to the packing, and now, unpacking of boxes. I do think the move is for the better. I mean, look at the results—think of, just off the top of your head, of famous writers from this state.


For me, I can think of the drug addicted Hunter S. Thompson and Stevie King. And then, when I think of Florida, I think of Twain, Hemingway, Kerouac and Tennessee Williams. The pedigree is there. And Steven King lives here now. Hmmm…

Okay, the biggest queer-bear thing I can think of is this whole Prop 8 bit. California said that Prop 8 goes against the Constitution for much the same reasons most of these laws are. I had to laugh, however, at the losers’ side of things. Immediately, the varied churches jumped on the fact that the judge was queer and I was reminded of many other civil right cases over the years. Did they ever question the race of judges that voted in favor of civil rights laws? Doubtful. However, if he or she voted against it---race was immediately brought. I can’t think of a case, but it seems to make sense, doesn’t it? Of course, equal rights marriages were immediately quelled due to the fact that an appeal was made.

It’s weird, however. The President still says NOTHING. And that bothers me. Does he think he has the Christian Right voting for him? Nope. They are the blind followers of the GOP and TeaBaggers. Yes, I said blind followers. Folks, if they weren’t blind, they’d not follow those slick rogues with a silver tongue and penchant for pointing everyone’s mistakes…

On a side note, if you vote with your party-you’re a sucker too, frankly. Even Jesus questioned superiors folks, he didn't accept what those at the pulpit espoused.

I’m still registered independent. Not a “Perot” indie, but the kind that believes that politicians need to curry my favors. Yes, I tend to vote left-but I will not blindly follow people due to the party they hang with.

So where is the comment from Obama? I waited all that night when Prop 8 was voted down. Nothing was said. Squat. Grrrrrr.

I look at two Republicans in this wedding debate. Has Governor, representative of the people of California, set up the legal structure for this appeal? The state government is supposed to support voted on laws and such. Nope. He has called the state attorneys off as if the matter is settled. That Prop 8 is no more.

Way to go Arnie!

I even look to Glenn Beck. He even mentions that gay marriage isn’t an important issue right now. Okay, okay, the guy is a weird idiot but, like a train wreck, it is kinda fun to slow down the car next to him and watch the carnage. But when he mentioned it in his interview (see the link to YouTube, not mine, btw...)—I was like, that’s interesting that the GOP heads might actually be saying something like this.

I even turn to my new found homeland and noticed that there were two GOP nominees running for the Republican party’s rep for governor in the fall. One, McCollum made several anti-gay statements. The other? Scott? Squat. Guess who ended up on the ballot? Scott. Fascinating.

So you’d think that the President would chime on this. California is a huge state-and has huge influence on the culture wars of the United States.

And he says squat. Nada.

Kennedy was right in the heart of the Civil Rights Amendments of the sixties and, had he lived, he would have really had that feather shining out of his cap. Instead? That fame went to his predecessor. One of the reasons I voted for Mr. Obama was my hope that he would be the one to follow through on his promise of change. Guess he won’t. My hopes crashed a bit more.

However, I can’t say anything other than  that here. Why? When we let emotion run rampant, as opposed to honor and common sense—we get tea baggers everywhere. They are angry. And the dispossessed are easily led. As are the blind.

Nice Freudian Imagery...

Sounds like we have another victim of “Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell.” Two marines were arrested last week for gay bashing a young man—to the point that his skull is cracked and he suffers from headaches, probably forever—because he supposedly winked at them. And here’s the kicker, folks.

They’re not being charged with a hate crime. THERE IS NO FEDERAL PROTECTION FOR GAYS AND LESBIANS in the good old US of A. Fuck. Sure, individual places, workspaces and cities/states can vote for one or instate one. But nothing blankets the entire United States so that I’m migrating, as a good bear should, between state to state, I will not have the comfort of knowing that those who rise up against me merely because I’m absolutely fascinating, will be punished. So the law has the right in Savannah, Georgia to not call this a hate crime.

Of course, it could be because of the winking. You know that upsets me. I know once when I went out with some chums from college, a young lady touched my thigh. Since I’m gay, I took her outside and smashed her in the head with a baseball bat. I didn’t hate her, mind you, but I was uncomfortable with her advances.

See?

I tagged this as another victim of DADT because, let’s face it folks, when your superiors (generals, what have you) act afraid of gays in your military unit, it must be because the gays are bad, right? You get these young, impressionable men and this is the image they have painted for them. They come back from Iraq and feel free to beat people.

I’d like to bear claw their faces. Of course, I can’t. But I wanna.

So the former head of the GOP came out, Ken Mehlman. I suppose I’m happy for him. We should come out of hibernation early and enjoy the spring of our lives. But, well, maybe it’s the Zen panda in me, but the fact is---I have to live everyday with my actions. I will not hurt another person if I can avoid it. I will not live with the slightest regret. That means being good at all time.

But moments like Mr. Mehlman hit me. I am absolutely positive that his coming out  is a good thing. However, how many lives has he hurt with his permission of homophobic epithets that his party espoused for so long working with that bear hunter, W? Seriously. I’m thinking he did feel some guilt…that’s why he admitted this. But I look to Germany. They were killing people. Many people just let it happen--they were working, they had a life, regardless of the fact that people were dying. Now, in full respect to my Jewish family-we aren't dying physically. But how many marines were gleefully gay bashing during Emperor W's time in the kingdom? He was killing us by saying nothing.

The damage is done. Think of the world we would have lived in had Bush not been encouraging hatred? Articles mention that Bush even called him and congratulated him! Wait, wait, wait…That means, inside, Bush couldn't have give a rat's ass about us bears and our kin? Aha! So it was for votes and money.

It’s also further proof that those who oppose us are truly US in some kind of costume. And further proof we should not be blind followers.



Okay, I gotta do something positive here. All this negative talk has got this bear all itchy. So, on a positive note—many colleges are upset that their football teams etc are taking ‘beefcake’ photos. Awww, I feel for them. For years, the men in charge have made sure the cheerleaders leapt and pranced in short skirts, but as soon as they realized the men were being objectified, they got upset. Turnabout is fair play! And, in a way, I think that’s why the patriacal society is so nervous around gays. We turn them into objects-and they don’t like it. It means they aren’t in control any more.

So how is this positive? Really hot pictures are in this article!