Coming Out of the Comic Book Closet

Over in my mainstream blog, Squirrelvision, I came to terms, verbally, with my comic book love. Even as recently as yesterday, I purchased several graphic novels that I cannot wait to finish. Now, I probably should point out, I’m not alone. If websites like gayleague.com and pinkkryptonite.com can attest, by their mere presence, many gays and lesbians can really link to the universe of superheroes that Marvel comics and DC comics write about.
Now, I’m sure, if were to study the numbers, we’d come to the realization that gays and lesbians are no more likely to love comic books any more then African-Americans or Hindus, but those numbers aren’t what I care about.

I just care about how the latest issue of Justice is going end!

The fact is, however, as I recently watched Iron Man 2 two weeks ago, I noticed that the comic book world is changing ever-so-slightly to fit the times. I believe, and hear me out on this, that gay men are attracted to superheroes due to several items. One of those items is the hot, tight clothing.

Okay, so it's not a super tight costume...but did you see those arms?????????

The other?

Living two lives. Superheroes, have two sides that they must reconcile in order to be successful. Some come to grips by accepting who they are. Think of the students at Xavier’s School. Those kids come to grips with their superpowers through working together and slowly interacting with the world around them.

Some, like Superman, really do keep both worlds at bay. No one knows Superman. He flies out too quickly before the press can snap a picture. But he still can contribute to the society at large. Batman too.  Batman uses his secrets to creep out his opponents.

So why bring this up now? Well, in the last three years, as queers have gained some ground in equal acceptance, so have superheroes—albeit symbolically.

I’m drawn to the end of Iron Man, the first one. In 2008, good old Tony Stark does something that doesn’t happen in many comic book adaptations.

He admits he’s Iron Man without irony or shame. The crowd goes wild.
And, that continues into that most recent movie. He’s living his life and helping others and doing what he set out to do. He is not condemned for being himself. Well, wait. He IS, but those individuals were the villains, interestingly enough!
Basically, folks, he came out of the closet. And he’s all the more awesome because of it.


Now it didn’t stop there. For those of you following the Marvel titles, 2007 saw the famed “Civil War” story arc. Several heroes had to stand up when the government requested anyone with powers to register and be in military training—so no one would ever be hurt. The storyline was fascinating. A “Civil War” broke out between heroes. Some upheld the new law. Tony Stark was one. Some fought against it---Captain America being their leader. BTW, this ended up with him being killed and, yes, it shook up the Marvel Universe.

But I look to one point in the storyline that also shook the comic book world and, well, mine as well. Young Peter Parker ‘came out’ as the savior of NYC, Spiderman. Yes, his family was threatened. Yes, he had to help them escape—and he even went from working with Iron Man to working with Cap’n America, but the boy was gone. He grew up in one single title’s issue.
And now? His adventure continues and the City still loves him!

Now last week, I brought in my laptop and watched a few DVDs at work while I graded papers and got my lesson plans in order. Being the geek that I am, I decided to watch Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. I loved the movie, and will be honest with you, I didn’t really read the title, just copies of the story arc as people said, “check this out…” The movie starts off with the CIA continuing to keep him a secret as he fights for the public. They insist the world-at-large isn’t ready for him to ‘come out’ yet and so they work on keeping him a secret. Yet he is working for the people, banishing evils left and right. His small family aches and twitches with petty arguments (he and his pyrokinetic girlfriend) and they look to be on the brink of separating.

“HB” decides enough is enough. He leaps out of a window during one mission, effectively forcing himself on the unready public. They freak, to be sure, but they don’t kill him. They don’t accept him (he’s a reformed demon, after all), but they start to see him for what he does and he doesn’t have to hide. His family grows and finds a peace they didn’t have before.

He had ‘come out’ As well.
As life reflects art and art reflects life, I am massively hopeful this means something for all of us. That, maybe, as more and more heroes accept their truth, more in my community will as well.

Espeically now. I've learned that our first, major, gay character, Northstar, in the title of Nation X, will be elaborating on life with his non-super-powered lover in San Francisco. Please, dear God, let this be a sign!

The "Rent-Boy" Scandal

Coming out of the closet was hell. There was so much I didn’t know. I didn’t know how my friends, who had been so decent up to till that point, would react. They never had spoken about homosexuality before, so I had no idea how they would respond. Same goes for my family. The press? Only the negatives really made headlines, so I couldn’t rely on that.


But I had to do it. I was lying to everyone by pretending to be someone I wasn’t, and, even if they wouldn’t talk to me afterwards, I would, at least, live with the person I was—not some facsimile that others wanted. I never felt bad about my love for my fellow man. My family had taught me volumes about acceptance about individuals and individualality that I knew I could be who I was meant to be.

Coming out would also let me focus on being myself and not worrying about what lies I had to create to make sure others were happy and content. It was beyond measure and important…

…to myself.

However, a large part of me wishes that it was a nonissue. That, during elementary school, I could have said “I’m gay” and the teacher would let me write my purple-and-red Valentine’s to Brian in the front of the classroom and not Melissa who kept wanting me to go to her birthday party. And when someone said to me in my dorm years, “do you have a girlfriend?” , I could answer, “no, but I am looking for a boyfriend!” without fear.

An excellent role model-friend of mine advised me to live as everyone already knew I was queer and I’ve been doing that since she suggested it.

And I’ve been confident ever since. No coming out necessary!

Recently, someone was forced out of the closet and it has a national impact on us all. Ever hear of George Rekers?

He’s a pretty famous American “psychologist” and Christian minister. I put the quotes on that comment, because, well, it’s come to light that he doesn’t practice good psychology these days, that’s for sure. Mr. Rekers is what some might refer to as an “ex-gay.”

I hate the words “ex-gay.” For it’s an untruth. Homosexualty happens in your brain, folks. I speak from experience. I knew I was gay before I even touched another man. I knew I was gay before my first haircut review. I knew I was gay before getting the lead in the musical. It has nothing to do with the physical or interactions; it has everything to do with your brain. I dreamt about men when I was kid, not women. I only felt comfortable on dates with guys, I only felt normal in the company of a decent man. So the term ex-gay is misleading. Unless someone has gone into his head and removed part of his brain that makes his sexual impulses he’s what we should be calling a “non-practicing-gay.”

So, this non-practicing-gay, goes ahead and preaches that homosexuality can be cured and with everyone’s favorite polictal pundit, James Dobson, starts the Family Research Council. This group uses the guise of maintaining the family as a manner to push their own agenda and businesses. They lobby the government and get laws made to make sure the cash flow stays secure. George even goes a step further and establishes a group called NARTH, the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality. This group continues specific treatments to “cure” people of being gay.

The therapy works on the concept that being gay is bad, very bad. And through your self-loathing, you can fight the impulses of wanting to go shopping and wear great colors. And in order to keep getting cash for this therapy, the organization does it’s best to make the general public feel that being gay is a bad thing and that gays hate themselves as you do.

Obviously, they’ve never been to a PrideFest! I’m sorry, I don’t see any self hating there.

If you can wear this with a broad smile...you do not hate yourself. No matter what a therapist is telling you from their cell phone on their yacht!

The therapy is something of a joke. Far from research, you can check out a documentation of one of their weeklong session here. During the workshop, you see a bunch of weird encounters that kinda freak me out. One young man, you can read, is encouraged to beat senseless a effigy of his own father—a man who wasn’t man enough to raise him to be true man. Another encounter is relay of men holding men shirtless. Both of these things didn’t happen to my older brother and yet he’s as manly as they come. So, ah, well, WTF? I’m thinking the therapy is merely a reason to say they are doing something and then collect your cash for your own misunderstood homosexuality.

Alright, on and on I go, so here’s George, right? And he is a non-practicing-gay and he gets back to America after a workshop of the coast of Florida. And, well, he has a male prostitute with him. Right there in the airport. A young twenty something, standing there, not holding any baggage for him or anything. People immediately recognize the young man as a post-er on the website “Rent-boy.com” where men can find companionship for a few nights.

Please notice who's lifting the luggage...he hired the prostitute to do it, yet.....

George had apparently fallen off the wagon and likes boys again.

He’s OUT for now!

He made the usual denials, trying to keep his cash flowing, but the truth is, his own therapy seems to be failing.

You’d think, after all I’ve said so far, I’d be more open to this poor man with bunches of cash. Something I’ve not elaborated on, folks. George, in trying to support his version of a family, has destroyed many, many others. He is called on as a witness for several court cases to make sure that gays and lesbians are put down and out. For example, this ‘expert’ made sure that discrimination was institutionalized by testifying that gays are permitted to be excluded by the Boy Scouts back in 1998. He also just gave testimony that states that anyone with a gay man in a household cannot adopt children (the gay adoption ban) in the state of Florida due to a high rate of alcoholism. That was as recently as 2008.

And now this. He tells others to hate gays but is one himself.

I guess for me, it’s the money issue. This man made thousands of dollars off of people who are having trouble with being gay—telling young men and women to hate themselves and to act a way that was contrary to how they feel.

And yet, secretly, he was indulging in the same thing.

I should pity him, but I think back to Ted Haggard who is also supposedly fixed. How many teenagers tried to kill themselves due to his angry words against gays from his pulpit? And now, and now, this man takes a spill???How many families has he destroyed as well?

I am having a hard time find sympathy.

As a bear, I wanna buy him a drink and fix him up with a friend of mine.

Jon Paulk, see, he worked for Focus too, and had his own therapy, “Love Won Out.” And then was caught buying drinks at a gay bar in Washington DC back in 2000. Another poster child for these stupid ministries. There’s the Paul Crouch fiasco, where he was bonking one of his Trinity Television boys back in 2004. Paul Barnes was sleeping with his church members, men, in 2006 in nearby Douglas County. And yeah, he was a big supporter of ex-gay ministries.

And I want the government to ban these horrid things.

That's my growling this time around!

Another update for this week....

Don't Ask Don't Tell Crap, again...

Okay, okay, this is like, what, the one hundredth post about this stupid policy? Well, yes it is, folks. The fact of the matter is, in order to achieve equality, it has to be across the board. And the military is a big step. When the military intergrated, there was no denying that change was coming for civil right in America. You can't deny this. This week's travesty? A letter from Mr. Gates, one of those honchos in charge of the military. Here, take a look here to take a read.

Now, I'm confused. Basically, theya re saying the military should be given time to think about changing over to letting gays and lesbians being equal. I hate to go all emotional on their butts, but the fact is, we've always been in the military. What is there to think about, exactly? For all my IQ, I can't really find much.  Separate housing? Hmmmm. Doubt it. Living in a dorm as a queer, there was nothing wrong with it. You learn your space. In fact, you learn to shut off that part of your brain. Military benefits for partners?
Are you fucking kidding me? Of course. Equality means that. If you're uncomfortable, it means you're scared.  You have a bunch of Boomers in control who still think the Cold War is going on, I'm thinking.

Now before anyone gets all "You're getting all antimilitary, Bardy, there's no reason for that." 

I have to disagree. You are only seeing these words I type. The fact of the matter is, when I taught public high school,  I encouraged those for whom they weren't sure of their future that the military is an excellent opportunity to excel. In fact, I wrote a paper ENCOURAGING war in Afghanistan in the late 80's, specifically for the reasons we invaded in 2001.

Right now, I have a family member overseas. To me, he is more than a hero than I'll ever see. Right now, the Republicans are trying to illustrate those who are having a problem with this policy as unpatriotic. Makes sense, I suppose, if you want to encourage voters to vote against anyone with left leanings. However, those in the G.O.P., Boomers who lived through the Vietnam Conflict, see the protesters as extensions of the Hippies. My own mother, when I said something negative about the Desert Storm invasion in 1990, mentioned, "Bardy, you don't call them Baby--Killers, do you?"

That's the mentality we're dealing with here, an inability to escape the past. A want and need to maintain what happened before. In a world that changes every few minutes, it makes sense to try to. But the fact is, Dear Mother and Boomers, I never spit on a solider. In fact, I wore a huge button on my pancho (it was college!) and made it clear, as much as I hated the war and the politicians involved, I SUPPORTED OUR TROOPS.

And the same deal with this repeal.

I WANT more troops. I want the military to be big and strong. Our work overseas isn't completed yet. And I can't help thinking that repealing DADT will encourage men and women to join-those who didn't before. I doubt it will be a tidal wave, but it would be a step forward.

Frankly, I think the G.O.P. can really encourage further voters to move in their direction if they rid themselves of the DADT bit and legalize marriage. Watch what happens....

__________________________________________________________________________________

this picture means nothing, I just needed some happy and cute..

Speaking of the military, I gotta say something about the following video:

Telephone Remake

First off, my first thought is, um, shouldn't they be doing more work over there in Afghanistan? I mean, here I am arguing for them and their placement there (if you want me to elaborate on my own personal reasons for the invasion, just ask!) and they're making Gaga videos!

But I found out the little red-headed hottie actually has two moms! That's freegin' awesome! He's straight, to be sure, but is probably a bit cooler than most due his family.  However, as you'll see, suddenly there's a link between him and the military and all this stuff. Like we have to somehow remove DADT to let this stuff happen.

Um, what?

The only reason I am calling attention to it is because, well, it's funny and cute and positive. The fact is, folks, we need moments to celebrate every moment of every day. I just wanted to share it with you as well. I didn't mean for it to follow the DADT whine I just made.

Besides, there's nothing hotter then a Red Bear with the moves, ya know? I just like seeing happy people doing happy things.

Speaking of which, I like to read happy things too...like this post  from one of his two mothers. You can see the pride. And a competeing Disney Board, other than MiceChat, but, something this fun should also be recognized.

___________________________________________________________________________________
A BEAR NEAR THE WHITE HOUSE

Nancy Pelosi's recent declaration that the President needs to get moving on DADT (there it is again, folks, so you're going to see me reporting more and more about it...) means she's on her side. She must also have a thing for your Bear fans. Looks like she went hunting for a ursa major and boy, did she find one! 

Ladies and Gentlebears, I give you Joe Novoty, the House Reader!

Can you believe it?

Now, really, I know it's not that big of a deal, but there's something to be said here. He'll be a confidant to Mrs. Pelosi. His responsiblity when it comes to the House will be huge. And he'll be OUT and proud.

And he's a BEAR!

Again, like the video, we need to celebrate every moment of positive-ness we can these days!

Just thought I'd point that out.

Alright, take care and I'll growl again next week.