But I had to do it. I was lying to everyone by pretending to be someone I wasn’t, and, even if they wouldn’t talk to me afterwards, I would, at least, live with the person I was—not some facsimile that others wanted. I never felt bad about my love for my fellow man. My family had taught me volumes about acceptance about individuals and individualality that I knew I could be who I was meant to be.
Coming out would also let me focus on being myself and not worrying about what lies I had to create to make sure others were happy and content. It was beyond measure and important…
…to myself.
However, a large part of me wishes that it was a nonissue. That, during elementary school, I could have said “I’m gay” and the teacher would let me write my purple-and-red Valentine’s to Brian in the front of the classroom and not Melissa who kept wanting me to go to her birthday party. And when someone said to me in my dorm years, “do you have a girlfriend?” , I could answer, “no, but I am looking for a boyfriend!” without fear.
An excellent role model-friend of mine advised me to live as everyone already knew I was queer and I’ve been doing that since she suggested it.
And I’ve been confident ever since. No coming out necessary!
Recently, someone was forced out of the closet and it has a national impact on us all. Ever hear of George Rekers?
He’s a pretty famous American “psychologist” and Christian minister. I put the quotes on that comment, because, well, it’s come to light that he doesn’t practice good psychology these days, that’s for sure. Mr. Rekers is what some might refer to as an “ex-gay.”
I hate the words “ex-gay.” For it’s an untruth. Homosexualty happens in your brain, folks. I speak from experience. I knew I was gay before I even touched another man. I knew I was gay before my first haircut review. I knew I was gay before getting the lead in the musical. It has nothing to do with the physical or interactions; it has everything to do with your brain. I dreamt about men when I was kid, not women. I only felt comfortable on dates with guys, I only felt normal in the company of a decent man. So the term ex-gay is misleading. Unless someone has gone into his head and removed part of his brain that makes his sexual impulses he’s what we should be calling a “non-practicing-gay.”
So, this non-practicing-gay, goes ahead and preaches that homosexuality can be cured and with everyone’s favorite polictal pundit, James Dobson, starts the Family Research Council. This group uses the guise of maintaining the family as a manner to push their own agenda and businesses. They lobby the government and get laws made to make sure the cash flow stays secure. George even goes a step further and establishes a group called NARTH, the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality. This group continues specific treatments to “cure” people of being gay.
The therapy works on the concept that being gay is bad, very bad. And through your self-loathing, you can fight the impulses of wanting to go shopping and wear great colors. And in order to keep getting cash for this therapy, the organization does it’s best to make the general public feel that being gay is a bad thing and that gays hate themselves as you do.
Obviously, they’ve never been to a PrideFest! I’m sorry, I don’t see any self hating there.
If you can wear this with a broad smile...you do not hate yourself. No matter what a therapist is telling you from their cell phone on their yacht!
The therapy is something of a joke. Far from research, you can check out a documentation of one of their weeklong session here. During the workshop, you see a bunch of weird encounters that kinda freak me out. One young man, you can read, is encouraged to beat senseless a effigy of his own father—a man who wasn’t man enough to raise him to be true man. Another encounter is relay of men holding men shirtless. Both of these things didn’t happen to my older brother and yet he’s as manly as they come. So, ah, well, WTF? I’m thinking the therapy is merely a reason to say they are doing something and then collect your cash for your own misunderstood homosexuality.
Alright, on and on I go, so here’s George, right? And he is a non-practicing-gay and he gets back to America after a workshop of the coast of Florida. And, well, he has a male prostitute with him. Right there in the airport. A young twenty something, standing there, not holding any baggage for him or anything. People immediately recognize the young man as a post-er on the website “Rent-boy.com” where men can find companionship for a few nights.
Please notice who's lifting the luggage...he hired the prostitute to do it, yet.....
George had apparently fallen off the wagon and likes boys again.
He’s OUT for now!
He made the usual denials, trying to keep his cash flowing, but the truth is, his own therapy seems to be failing.
You’d think, after all I’ve said so far, I’d be more open to this poor man with bunches of cash. Something I’ve not elaborated on, folks. George, in trying to support his version of a family, has destroyed many, many others. He is called on as a witness for several court cases to make sure that gays and lesbians are put down and out. For example, this ‘expert’ made sure that discrimination was institutionalized by testifying that gays are permitted to be excluded by the Boy Scouts back in 1998. He also just gave testimony that states that anyone with a gay man in a household cannot adopt children (the gay adoption ban) in the state of Florida due to a high rate of alcoholism. That was as recently as 2008.
And now this. He tells others to hate gays but is one himself.
I guess for me, it’s the money issue. This man made thousands of dollars off of people who are having trouble with being gay—telling young men and women to hate themselves and to act a way that was contrary to how they feel.
And yet, secretly, he was indulging in the same thing.
I should pity him, but I think back to Ted Haggard who is also supposedly fixed. How many teenagers tried to kill themselves due to his angry words against gays from his pulpit? And now, and now, this man takes a spill???How many families has he destroyed as well?
I am having a hard time find sympathy.
As a bear, I wanna buy him a drink and fix him up with a friend of mine.
Jon Paulk, see, he worked for Focus too, and had his own therapy, “Love Won Out.” And then was caught buying drinks at a gay bar in Washington DC back in 2000. Another poster child for these stupid ministries. There’s the Paul Crouch fiasco, where he was bonking one of his Trinity Television boys back in 2004. Paul Barnes was sleeping with his church members, men, in 2006 in nearby Douglas County. And yeah, he was a big supporter of ex-gay ministries.
And I want the government to ban these horrid things.
That's my growling this time around!
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