Where Lutherans are Concerned (don't worry, folks, it's not church bashing, it's actually a praise!)

Not many of hunters in the woods know that before I got my first real decent coat of fur, I was going to be a minister. My fur is turning all polar these days, friends, so that should tell you how old this ursine fellow really is!

Seriously. Stop laughing. I went to a big ole Minnesotan Lutheran College and I was required to take some religion courses. I was going to major in communications (for whatever that meant…basically honing my growling you’re looking at now) but I took some basic literugy classes and some sacrament classes and I realized that I really had a snout for the Lutheran faith.

Prior to that, I’d not had religion really pushed in my family. My mother’s family was a mix; my dad’s family was strict Lutheran. So Ma let me choose on my own. Given time, I went to several churches on my own, yep, total solo, including one I really liked—where the minister was a friend of my uncle, who was also minister.

And given that it wasn’t forced on me, I started to enjoy going to church. It made me self-reflect on all of my cub-dom and I found it really helped me keep my actions in order.

It also gave me profound agony is the heart department. Finally away from the flirtations of high school (surely, there were moments and brief daillances, but nothing ‘serious’ as it were), college also helped me realize something.

I was a bear.

And I really liked men.

Coming to this realization to all of these feelings I had over the 18 years prior, this then-cub was coming out of the proverbial closet.

Hold up a bit. Now I realized, quite quickly, that I had a knack for philosophy. I could see myself as a minister, I really could. I got the abstract understanding of religions, and saw how they guided actions and feelings. I could do it. Better, I knew I didn’t want to be a corporate wage-slave. I wanted to know I was giving to people and the community at large. I didn’t want to just work for cash and for tax breaks. I wanted the intrinsic value of employment, as rare as it would be.

The two worlds collided. Since one was biological (the gay side) and one was philosophical (the minister side), I knew that being a minister could never be. I couldn’t cut off being gay. I mean, I could stop being with men, to be sure, but I was not going to be a priest.

I moved my goals over to being a teacher, which, when you think about it, is quite similar, and moved my philosophies about as well. I had also taken a World Religions course so I knew that the universal truths of one faith would be carried over to another. I also had grown up with a myriad of faith about my life---I knew that different religions can exist together, no matter what others boasted.

But my heart broke a little those days in the snows of Northern Minnesota.

I became a Buddhist and a Taoist and I have to say, I became quite good at those philosophies. I kept my Christian beliefs as well. Believe it or not, you can be a Buddhist and a Taoist and a Christian, regardless of what others say.

And I grew fur and took up hibernatin’ with the Otter.

Until, of course this:  Historic Vote in the Lutheran Church
I’ve gone on this long tirade to introduce something wonderful that happened. It would have been better if there was no need to vote on any part of it, but well, I guess beggars can’t be choosers, right? My husOtter and myself have tried many, many different churches over these years and have never been satisfied. I have found several Lutheran churches that have congregations that are called “Reconciled in Christ” that sounded majorly like where I wanted to be-but alas, this bear could not find a home.

They were all in Denver.

Then there was the organization of Lutherans Concerned, designed to keep gays and lesbians in the church. Maybe a group like that would be the encouragement I needed to come back to the ELCA.

They were all in Denver.

Still, I refuse to give up hope. So they voted (read the link) and made some great strides towards equality. Methinks, however, that the churches here in Conservative-ville will just stay the same.

They aren’t in Denver.

And all my hopes will be dashed. But that hasn’t happened yet.

So this year of change moves on. And I’m liking yet another aspect of it all.

Just looking through the news...since I missed you guys for two weeks!

President Obama and His Memo (click the link to see the actual memo...)


After reading about this: Sonoma County CA separates Elderly Gay Couple

I'm reminded about something that happens in my own family. It’s not out of anger, mind, just a situation that burns me to my soul. My brother, that romancer in a ponytail, lives with one of the nicest people I know—and have known, apparently, since elementary school. She knew my family from when we lived in New York, where her family lived around the corner. Time passed and her and my brother ended up in the same space. My brother, not really forthcoming in the wedding ring department after two wonderfully dramatic marriages just kept it simple and moved in with her.

And after seven weeks together in Colorado, they have a common law marriage. Regardless of the fact this bear cave has been in existence since August 14th, 2001 (when the Otter brought my step cat with him and decided to stay a bit), my brother only had seven weeks. Seven weeks and he can help her, legally, on a mulititude of items. This would include helping divvy up her estate after her passing and making sure her family is included.

And people wonder what we are fighting for in all of our screaming, yelling and growling. This bear, for one, wants what the ponytailed brother has. We were raised the same, have the same feelings and beliefs—but he gets more because he is with a woman.

I don’t get it.

So Obama made this memo. I really hope it means something. I’m reminded of President Clinton who made many, many overtures to the bears of the world. And then, once in the White House, he actually did follow through, believe it or not, tackling gays in the military almost immediately.

SIDENOTE: Lesbians in the military are a given. Have you seen them? I mean, seriously. It’s almost redundant. But think of the bears. Yeah, they’ll have to shave off their beards, but with all the grunting and woofing? AND a gun? Massively appropriate…or not. Maybe that’s what they are afraid of.

Clinton hit a wall that created the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. He didn’t realize that Washington and the military, in particular, are not exactly places were decisions are made quickly or in favor of equality. They are full of myriads of people with their hands out waiting for their fair share. Being ‘equal’ is just too much of an ideal to really move on it. Poor Clinton was forced to agree to this terrible policy lest something worse comes forth.

Obama is in the same boat, folks, we have to be serious about this. He wants change, but there are too many people who have power that are waiting for some kind of payment. I’m reminded of the Republicans. They wanted all these concessions in the Health Care bill. This included the removal of anything related to GBL communities. So Obama and the House removed everything to keep them voting for the bill.

They voted against it anyways.

So now? No rights in the health care bill for my bear-brethren. The bill passed, but we’re screwed…again.

Obama is realizing that getting things moving in a system that is so stagnant is virtually impossible. I can only imagine what his face is going to look like at the end of all of this.

How can he get equal rights for gays and lesbians in a system that is so basically fucked over?

This memo, to me, is a show of good faith. But the fact is it means nothing. First, look at the story about the Sonoma County couple. This, my friends, is what Mr. Bespectled is looking at and panicking about. I worry, horribly about my Otter. If he were sick and they held me at the door? I’d be in prison for punching an elder nurse and taking out a doctor with two upper cuts and a face claw.

Of course, I’d be arrested and Otter would die alone. But I wouldn’t be allowed in anyway.

How can the red states not see this?

And poor Obama—he can’t get shit done these days with Republicans standing in his way with their hands out. There is no benefit in giving equal rights in their opinion.

Now comes the part you, dear reader, will hate. The church gives a shitload of money to the G.O.P. Think about it. Voting in favor of equal rights would mean that they would lose more cash, since the church uses queers as cannon fodder to provide for themselves.

I keep thinking about ticks on a mule for some reason.

I just wish he could do more for us then just a memo. Yes, it’s a show of good faith, and I know he’s trying. But I shouldn't have to be growling about this...I should be growling about how I was shortchanged at the coffeehouse or that hotels at D-Land are too expensive. Not about if my husOtter is going to live. That bothers me more....

A Thunderous Roar

Robin Williams is outdated. His manic approaches to presentation, though probably appropriate with the manic presentations of entertainment these days, have become massively repetitive and I rarely enjoy watching him. However, he did say one quote I’ve used again and again in my life.
“It’s sad our nation was established by people so stuffy that even the English threw them out.”

Now, you have to understand the English as a people to get the joke. They are massively stifling. They are polite to a fault, insulting you to your face but making you wonder if you should be upset or not. Their humor is completely based on if you are in on the joke or not.

The Puritans left the United Kingdom with the intent of practicing even more religion then they could in the open minded hills of Britain. They arrived and had a profound impact on this nation’s development. You can see it on a daily basis. I mean, where else do they argue if the President says, “God bless America,” but don’t feed the homeless or fund medical insurance?

Yes, those wacky Puritans, have pretty much fucked us all over.

Especially me.

See, I wanna get married. And I want to do it now. If you were to travel north, to Canada, I have rights. Now if I go to Mexico, I’d have rights. I can go to the Old World, like England or Spain…I have marriage rights. How can those countries do it without combusting?

But here? They argue about the term ‘marriage.’ They don’t even want to give us civil rights, federal or state or even local.

They want us to pay our taxes. They want us to pay our bills; they just don’t want us to be happy.

And it is hard to not want to hit someone.

I bring this up as a bear. I’m already not in the hot, cute, thin man group of studs the gay bar claims or are posted in Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs. Now I’m arguing with others in my own gay rights movement. I read yesterday in Out magazine that we should just accept civil unions and move on. This coming from Alan Cummings, NightCrawler, for goodness’ sakes!

This bothers me to no end. I love my hus-otter. And the thought that I might die tomorrow, hit by a busload of churchers coming back from a political retreat sponsored by Focus on the Family, and he won’t be protected or he has to jump through 800 hoops to get what he deserves—that bothers me.

I heard recently that Texas wants to remove some Thomas Jefferson quotes from textbooks in schools. And I can't believe people aren't screaming.

I see we’re going the wrong way. We’re moving towards laws that have a religious background. We’re moving towards a society that still thinks the Earth is quite flat. I say this here in the coffeehouse seated beside a group discussing ‘marriage’ as part of a church group and across from another group, this time teens, reading from a ‘When God Writes Your Love Story, Dating for Guys and Girls.’ These people are thriving. And they’re not totally wrong. They have been granted these freedoms and, by all means, should pursue them.


However, I get the nagging suspicion they’d make sure I’d never get married either.

Now, not only am I a Bear, but I’m going to risk going against many in my small gay culture on this one too. I deserve to get married and nothing less. Not to only to get those rights, but probably to teach this schmucks that their beliefs end at the ballot box.

That America is for all of us—not just those who see things their way.

But here’s where I differ and this is why I’m torn. I’m a fighter, but not in the manner you’d think. I’m practicing what they don’t. Eastern Philosophies tell us that desire causes such angst. So to combat that, I’m going to be myself---however, I’m going to do it VERY LOUDLY. I’m going to be Out. And I’m going to talk to those who will argue. And I’m going to be happy every time I do it. I’ve read about civil disobedience. Maybe that will work better than yelling.

And yes, Robin, it is sad. Because, under the Puritan guidance all I can see is further dark times.

I’m going to make sure I enjoy every moment in it.

My first growlings

Started reading that book and I have say, I've come to a conclusion that I didn't expect.

Bears are pretty damn educated. Why now would I say that? If you look at the stereotype the bears put out there, you see a big, burly man who is comforting but has the dimwit of masculinity that has been perpetuated by our society. They grunt to show appreciation.

But I started reading. Now, understand, I had the tshirts, hats and saw the calendars. Pictures, really, and there was no connection. But when you see academics discussing concepts like sub-cultures and details of the like, you know you're hearing some really smart-smart talks.

Bears are smart, it seems.

I mean, as I'm reading this, I'm realizing a large portion of this mini-group in the large gay population has basically created a movement. Not let's define a movement. That's when people rise up against tyranny and wrongdoing. But the gay community has done nothing wrong.

But it has. It's harpooned me numerous times before. THe fact is, I'm round. I'm a big, bruly man, fat as VW bug only less appealing. I spent my first years of coming ougt dealing with the added stress of not being a clone of every model found in GQ magazine. It hurt. Badly. I spent many a night alone.

And now I'm realizing, I wasn't. There was this small group of men like myself. Smart men. And instead of getting angry, they hung together and went to clubs together. They danced together. They used their collective support system to walk and talk to the clone young men and get a date or two.

And it worked.

I don't know about you, but the stupid way to do it would be to get angry. Anger creates enemies. But this Bear community decided to play the game their way, but making more friends both within and then outside.

That sounds smart to me.

And I like it. I see these men give each other huge Bear-hugs whereever they go and it shows me something--that they accept everyone into their little group. In fact, the book I'm reading really warns against labeling the Bear community fully. For when we define it totally, that leaves out some people. And that is not what the Bears wish to do. They want everyone to dance with them.

I'm reminded of the Tao and how Lao-Tzu was so reluctant to put the philosophy down on paper for the same reason...

Great. Finding Taoism in Bear culture. That's just weird.

But it's smart. Just like a bear.