Not many of hunters in the woods know that before I got my first real decent coat of fur, I was going to be a minister. My fur is turning all polar these days, friends, so that should tell you how old this ursine fellow really is!
Seriously. Stop laughing. I went to a big ole Minnesotan Lutheran College and I was required to take some religion courses. I was going to major in communications (for whatever that meant…basically honing my growling you’re looking at now) but I took some basic literugy classes and some sacrament classes and I realized that I really had a snout for the Lutheran faith.
Prior to that, I’d not had religion really pushed in my family. My mother’s family was a mix; my dad’s family was strict Lutheran. So Ma let me choose on my own. Given time, I went to several churches on my own, yep, total solo, including one I really liked—where the minister was a friend of my uncle, who was also minister.
And given that it wasn’t forced on me, I started to enjoy going to church. It made me self-reflect on all of my cub-dom and I found it really helped me keep my actions in order.
It also gave me profound agony is the heart department. Finally away from the flirtations of high school (surely, there were moments and brief daillances, but nothing ‘serious’ as it were), college also helped me realize something.
I was a bear.
And I really liked men.
Coming to this realization to all of these feelings I had over the 18 years prior, this then-cub was coming out of the proverbial closet.
Hold up a bit. Now I realized, quite quickly, that I had a knack for philosophy. I could see myself as a minister, I really could. I got the abstract understanding of religions, and saw how they guided actions and feelings. I could do it. Better, I knew I didn’t want to be a corporate wage-slave. I wanted to know I was giving to people and the community at large. I didn’t want to just work for cash and for tax breaks. I wanted the intrinsic value of employment, as rare as it would be.
The two worlds collided. Since one was biological (the gay side) and one was philosophical (the minister side), I knew that being a minister could never be. I couldn’t cut off being gay. I mean, I could stop being with men, to be sure, but I was not going to be a priest.
I moved my goals over to being a teacher, which, when you think about it, is quite similar, and moved my philosophies about as well. I had also taken a World Religions course so I knew that the universal truths of one faith would be carried over to another. I also had grown up with a myriad of faith about my life---I knew that different religions can exist together, no matter what others boasted.
But my heart broke a little those days in the snows of Northern Minnesota.
I became a Buddhist and a Taoist and I have to say, I became quite good at those philosophies. I kept my Christian beliefs as well. Believe it or not, you can be a Buddhist and a Taoist and a Christian, regardless of what others say.
And I grew fur and took up hibernatin’ with the Otter.
Until, of course this: Historic Vote in the Lutheran Church
I’ve gone on this long tirade to introduce something wonderful that happened. It would have been better if there was no need to vote on any part of it, but well, I guess beggars can’t be choosers, right? My husOtter and myself have tried many, many different churches over these years and have never been satisfied. I have found several Lutheran churches that have congregations that are called “Reconciled in Christ” that sounded majorly like where I wanted to be-but alas, this bear could not find a home.
They were all in Denver.
Then there was the organization of Lutherans Concerned, designed to keep gays and lesbians in the church. Maybe a group like that would be the encouragement I needed to come back to the ELCA.
They were all in Denver.
Still, I refuse to give up hope. So they voted (read the link) and made some great strides towards equality. Methinks, however, that the churches here in Conservative-ville will just stay the same.
They aren’t in Denver.
And all my hopes will be dashed. But that hasn’t happened yet.
So this year of change moves on. And I’m liking yet another aspect of it all.
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